Tw: depression & SI
It’s been a draining day. I ended up being suicidal again, and I haven’t felt this low in a while. I’m so tired. I’m so hurt by the actions of some individuals, and the absolute inability of some to accept the hurt they cause. It is draining for me, and conflict, too, exhausts me. I hate having to restrain myself from self harm, having to fight myself to find some ounce of will to stay alive. Again, today, it was my dog.
Ella keeps me alive more than any other creature. Even when I think no human could ever care for me, I know that she is dependent on me. I thank whatever energy in any world brought her to me, because I am completely undeserving of her absolute love, but I am so grateful.
I am tired, guys. Things hurt me so deeply, and I am not sure how to get out of this funk this time.
I am grateful for the love and support in my life.