The Many Feelings of Buying a Home

Sam and I found a beautiful cape style home about 2 months ago. It’s located in Barre, which is basically a perfect location for us long term (closer to our families, not too far from our jobs). Prior to this house, we had looked at probably 10. I am not saying that we had it bad, because I know so many people who look at hundreds of houses before finding the right one, but I tend to want things finished urgently, and Sam knew I was desperate to find our place.

You see, we’ve both rented for our entire adult lives. I moved out at 18, rented the same place for 3 years for school, then moved in with Sam. Sam rented probably 3-4 places in the time before we moved in together. When we found this apartment, I loved it. I still do. It has beautiful heated floors, a gorgeous kitchen, two bedrooms, and it’s big enough for us. The reason we want to move is because our neighbors. Our first neighbor, a woman, complained about anything we did. If we played music at any volume, she would pound on our walls and complain. If we cooked after 7pm, she would complain. If our dog barked, if we parked in a parking spot that she didn’t approve of, if we watched movies, if we fought. Anything. This apartment is also very pricy for the area. Over $1200 for rent, not counting utilities. We knew a mortgage payment would be less than that, or at least the same price, and it would be ours. So, we decided to buy a home. I didn’t want to settle, though. I was picky. Sam tends to be more of a settler with decisions, where I find small things I dislike and flatly refuse. This house in Barre is different though. It is everything I could want, and more.

It has 5 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, a lovely kitchen, dining room, and living room. It sits on 2.5 acres. There is only one other person on the entire road, and there is room for us to make renovations. When I first saw it I was so excited. I told sam we should immediately put in an offer. Even he was surprised by my urgency and determination. As we met with the real estate agent and signed the documents for our first offer, I continued to be excited until we heard back. They counter offered. I was pretty worried, but we found the funds to counter again. We had to wait a bit longer that time, and it was painful. Finally, we heard back and they had accepted! I was filled with pure joy, and I thought we were on the right road. I hadn’t even thought of the mortgage company yet, which would prove to be the most difficult.

We tried with 2 companies to get approved. The second ended up being the same company that helped me get my car. They weren’t unreasonable with the rates, and pre-approved us very quickly. I let Sam take the reigns and submit his paperwork as necessary, and we worked with them for about a week. We gave them everything they needed. Things were going great. Until they needed to do an appraisal…a.k.a., a buyers worst fucking nightmare. The appraisal took almost a month. 25 days. We called every day. I was panicked, and livid. We live in rural Vermont. There is no excuse for that taking a month. Now, after the appraisal, the mortgage company called us again needing more information. We are supposed to close on Friday. There is no way that will happen. Underwriting will probably take another few days, maybe even a week. I’m heartbroken. I feel let down, I am angry, and I’m putting a lot of blame on Sam. It isn’t his fault, but I’m a hands on person. I usually take care of things. So I feel guilty, like if I had done it all, everything would be complete by now and we’d be on track. I also am trying to be reasonable, these things do take time, and we should be more willing to wait. I just want, so badly, for one thing to go well.

I’ve had a really rough semester. I’ve thought about dropping out at least once a week, every week. I’ve not been happy in months – actual months. The only thing I was looking forward to was this house, hosting thanksgiving for my family in my home. Now I know that won’t happen, and I’m really struggling. I am so sad.

You really start to resent the house, the seller, your spouse, the mortgage company, real estate agent, and even the entire state.

It seems so dramatic, but anyone who’s bought a house knows I’m not lying. I am so excited, still, for that house to be ours. I know once everything is done, I will be overjoyed again. I know I will feel nothing but love for my fiancé and co-home owner. I know I will have more opportunities to have my family over.

For the time being, though, it is so damn hard to be rational. Keep your fingers crossed that we hear back. We need it.

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